Saturday, February 6, 2016

A letter to my son …

Thought I’d write to you, I know the basics of the situation and understand how life takes its twists and turns, sometimes we never know exactly how a situation will turn out. Just know, that it is all part of something bigger and the path is never straight.

There is a book by James Allen called As A Man Thinketh, that I’ve read more often than I can count. He takes a verse from the Bible as the premise of the book, Proverbs 23 verse 7 …
“as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”
It’s a very short book, only about 30 pages, exploring that one idea — thoughts are powerful, they are the one thing that will drive your life in any number of directions — either good or bad. In one part of his book, he says (and this isn’t a direct quote) “man is not made by his circumstances, he is revealed by them”. I’ve always thought that was one of the most powerful things I’ve ever read — and it has both provided me with hope, and scared the hell out of me at the same time.

Right now, at this moment in your life, everything you’ve done, everything you’ve thought … has brought you to this moment. When you look back, sometimes you can see it, sometimes you can’t. Doesn’t matter — it’s true. The question isn’t really “why am I here?” as much as “where am I going?”. You have an opportunity (that most people don’t get) to spend time thinking about that last question — regardless of how you got to this place, you are here — it is up to you to take advantage of it, no one else.

Your Mom and I have talked about you and your current situation, she has shared with me some of the stories from events I wasn’t fully aware, and she has shared with me her deep, deep feelings of love for you. I understand, I can never know the whole story — I can never know every nuance of those moments — I’m getting a single perspective which is never the whole picture.

What I’d like for you to understand is this … your life is yours, no one else’s. There are people in your life that want nothing by the best for you, want nothing but success, happiness and joy. Nothing less than a life filled to the brim with “your best life”. They want those things for you — but they can’t make it happen for you — only you can make it happen. You know that, you’ve heard it from so many people during your life — they want it for you, they just can’t give it to you — you have to GIVE it to yourself.
The dark side of that truth and what most people won’t tell you, is that it’s hard and there is absolutely no guarantee you will ever actually achieve it. No matter how much you bust your ass, no matter how much work you put in — results will always vary. That reality sucks — embrace it — getting angry and upset about it will only make it all harder.
Anger will never give you the results you want, it will only get in the way and derail your path.
I told you once, you have to have that BIG thing out there — that thing you want in life. When we talked, I focused on “what you wanted to do” — but that big thing can actually be anything and in any area of your life. The reason you need to find and define it is this simple fact … once you have that BIG thing, the thousands of crappy things that happen right now, will never have the same significance and will never seem as important, because you can put it all into perspective. You can put up with a ton of crap, if there’s a big enough reason.
You can deal with anything, including all the HOWs, if the WHY is big enough
My wish for you is two-fold. (1) you will find your BIG thing, whatever that is and (2) you will use these next few months to find it, to define it, to visualize it. If you can, I promise, everything in your past, will fall into place. You will have such clarity, you will be amazed at both yourself and all the “things” that have happened (and will happen) in your life.

We are all star-gazers, we are all dreamers, never allow yourself to be the one to tell YOU it’s impossible, never limit yourself — because we are the worst judges of our own potential. Allow other people to tell you it’s not possible, then prove them wrong. Challenge yourself to reach that next level, to take that next step — quit thinking about how hard it is, and start thinking about how it will feel to get there.
You can endure anything for one minute, and your life is lived one minute at a time — it is the total of all those minutes that matters, not just a single one.
Find your BIG thing, embrace it, integrate it — then start living it. Your life is lived going forward, not backward. So eyes forward, because that’s where your life is coming from. Live, learn, lead — you have in you, believe it.

Eyes front Gentlemen.  Live. Learn. Lead.

1 comment:

  1. Every dad should write such a letter to his son or give a corresponding talks to him. My dad did that in a bunch of situations and I am very greatful that he did so.



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