Wednesday, December 30, 2015

START 2016 RIGHT ... this is the best post ever on NMMNG Forum

The following is from the No More Mr Nice Guy forum ... I have no idea how old it is, and I have to fully admit - I didn't write it and didn't copy down the author's "handle" or name.  I will fully attribute it - because I re-read it at least three or four times a year - it is that powerful and helps to keep me centered.  It is here in it's entirety - not edited.  Once again, I DID NOT WRITE THIS ... but wanted to share it.

Any day is a good day to change, to become strong, to become more.  We utilize the change of the year to make resolutions, which is basically bullshit - it's convenient, my suggestion is re-create yourself every day, be just a bit better the next five minutes than you were the previous.  We really do have much more control than we give ourselves credit - we choose what we believe, we choose who is in our lives, we choose what we do for a living, we choose the clothes we wear, we choose the food we eat, we choose to exercise - only a few of the things in our lives are "just there" and can't be changed.  Read the following article/response below - it is up to you to have the life you want.  [here's the link to the book]

Eyes front gentlemen.  Live. Learn. Lead

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I won’t go thought the whole multi-quote thing, I'll just address some points.

1) "Recovery is not black or white, it's gradients of grey."
No, it's not. You must, at some point in your life, if you wish to get on with your life say "I am now recovered" and start acting like it. This alone will do more for your "growth" than anything else.

2) "Growth" is important.
Only if you are a child, or a plant. At some point in your life you likely said to yourself "I am now an adult". Then you started acting like one. You took on more self-discipline, left behind childish things and took on more responsibility. You didn't magically stop having fun, or turn into a new person, you simply manned up (I hope). After that, it's called "building even more strength".

3) Do not mistake "recovery" as a destination or a stage in life.
It isn't. It's a choice. It's the choice that says "I recognize that I'm an adult animal in this world. I recognize the rules of reality and that they trump the chemical flows in my body. I choose to accept reality on ITS terms, simply because I have no choice." Recovery means "I've had enough of this bullshit, I'm moving on". And then you do. It's not an absolute measured on an intellectual scale, but how you choose to respond in a world that gives a leap about you only as long as you serve its rules and purpose.

4) "It's not fair"
Those are the words of children. This is the real world. It is unfair from the point of view of the victim. That is their rallying cry. In nature, if you are faced with being killed by a bear do you yell "It's unfair" and the universe magically rearranges itself for you? You have a choice: You can wait for the world to "be fair" to you, or you can deliberately choose to up your strength, skills and acumen to handle life so that YOU are the one that comes out the winner in a situation.

5) "You shouldn't impose judgement".

But I will anyway: I judge you as being a wimpy-ass moaner, complainer and weakling.

Well? I've just judged you, even though you think I "shouldn't". What are you going to do about it? What CAN you do about it? Nothing. Or do you think that your personal rules have ANY effect on the universe or the people around you? Newsflash: When it comes down to it, nobody cares about you without putting themselves first. Not your mother, not your children, not your wife, not your best friend. Treat them in a way that they don't like and they WILL dump you. They will put themselves first. They may give you lots of chances, but keep acting like an asshole, and you'll find out how much "they care" or are dedicated to you. There IS a limit, and if you aren't aware that love is not unconditional, then you need to open your eyes and look around. We are not a special and individual little snowflakes.

HERE is a great judgment: Go look at the name of all the threads you've started, collectively. They are a good reflection of your mind. Now go and look at mine. I point out mine because I am recovered, and most of you have not made that choice yet. See the difference. What's your next post going to look like?

Here's another judgment: You know why I don't come around as much? Because a) I have a life, and b) no matter how much I try to help, inspire, guide, offer techniques or my experience, insights, ideas, the best that I get is a momentary flush of "Rah-rah-rah you're so cool Mr. Zeph!" energy, and a week later, 90% of you are still moaning and pissing. I sometime log on, scan the thread titles and think "Fuck it, this is a waste of my time." The only reason do I come back from time to time is the few who are just working it. And notice the title of the thread that I DID respond to.

I desperately want you guys to get out of your slumps, to be happy and strong and to populate the earth with one more strong, potent and happy man, but I can't do it for you. There's not a thing I can do to change it or even help if you guys won't make the simple choice to be men, who on a common daily basis build their lives. I want this this place to be a place where men learn the attitude and skills required so that they stand tall, strong and proud. "Sharing" is nice. Teaching each other to stand strong is better.

6) Lots of guys here act as if their future is unlimited.
You are going to get old. Too old to attract that nice young fresh woman. You are going to to live long enough to see a number of your friends leave you, or die. And you won't be able to change those relationships. You are going to get to be too old to work energetically and create a new life for yourself. Welcome to living on old-age pensions, or in a home. Then you are going to die.

Now, put yourself on your death bed, and remember today, and ask yourself "If I had a choice of moaning on a web forum, and worry about 'growing' and 'fairness' would I do it over again? Or would I have asked that chick on a date? Would I have gotten rid of that jerk in my life and found decent people to be with? Would I have spent my time living like a shut-in, afraid of the world, or would I choose to do something that I've always wanted to do?"

Are you older than 18 years old? Get the fuck out of the house.

Are you still a virgin and it bugs you? Learn how the mating game works and earn your first lay though simple social skills.

Are you broke, poor and/or unemployed? Get a job, even if you despise it. Hard work is the basic minimum requirement for being alive on planet earth. Moaning that there are no jobs or that the economy is bad is a pussy attitude. If you don't have skills, learn them. If you keep getting blown out at interviews, learn how to do them. MAKE YOUR LIFE!

Are you intimidated by someone? Stand up to them even if they beat the crap out of you. And DO NOT give up until you win or are unconscious. Better to lose your job or your teeth getting the shit kicked out of you while you refused to bow, than to lose your soul by slinking away.

Are you resentful? Quit thinking like a weakling and a victim. Resentment is the kind of ego-coddling that only happens when you think you've lost. And if you do nothing, you WILL lose. Get off your ass and deal with your shit.

Are you married to someone who is ruining your life? Gain so many skill and improve your life so much that either they leave you, or that leaving them is no big deal. And if you have kids, being stronger will serve as a better example than being weaker. And if their brainwashed little minds hate you forever? Deal with it. Life is not fair. Best you can do is to act accordign to your integrity.

Are you scared? So what? It's built into you to be scared. Start your own mental/physical/emotional/spiritual weight lifting program.

Recovery is not when you GET strong, it is when you CHOOSE to get and be strong.

So you have a choice: Be a soft-skinned, estrogen based softie man that gets trampled on, or become a strong energetic man who works his mind and body to create the life he wants, and enjoys.
__________________
Strength. Dignity. Honour. 

3 comments:

  1. http://freedompowerandwealth.com
    This time of the year is usually spend looking back at the past year and making plans for the new one. But if we look back what we did last year at this time and the years before and if we have not become more successful, than we have to change something substantial. A new year’s resolution is nothing – achieving is what counts.
    Happy new year!

    ReplyDelete
  2. hey man what the hell you been up to!~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hey Cruzer ... I've been fucking up and falling down (sounds very dramatic doesn't it) ... not really that bad. Actually, I got caught up in being the "man I used to be" and forgot about the path ... I allowed myself to believe "she was different" - when she wasn't and believe "I can do this" which I couldn't.

      In between - been working on getting my life back to center - with me squarely in it.

      Hope all is well with you ... hit me up on twitter ... I sneak on there from time to time

      Delete

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