I was texting with a woman the other day. She's traveling (work related) and mentioned there were mostly Men in this meeting/seminar she is attending. Then she went on to say something about "they were going to the bar after and had asked me to go" ... I told her that sounded like fun, even if she wasn't interested, it might be a be ego boost to get all that attention. And then she hit me with this ..
"What do you think I want, a random hookup?"
I replied something like "I don't know, but the attention would be fun - if it were revered, and it was a bunch of women and I was the only Man - I'd do it."
What got me, was that statement "Random Hookup" ... and of course I started thinking about it. From both sides of the fence. And I came to the conclusion, that in almost all cases (except for maybe rock stars or star athletes) there is nothing very random about a hook up. It might seem that way from a woman's perspective, but in reality, there is lots of work that goes into it.
Let me explain ... and this all on the Man's, the woman has to do nothing except be available (pretty much showing up):
- A Man has to "know" what he wants: there has to be some planning involved.
- A Man has to practice: all skills are acquired, that means you have to practice that skill (side note - read Mastery by Robert Greene)
- A Man has to be resilient: how many times must you fail, how many times must you try again, how many times do you have to that by yourself and for yourself?
- A Man has to know his target: if you want to get good at anything, you have to be willing to gain knowledge - there are no shortcuts
Those things were just to get you "ready" ... now comes the fun part:
- You have to take action
- You have to react with lighting speed
- You have to read subtle cues
- You have to defend yourself from "other men" protectors
- You have to basically have to do all the work
So, it is only "random" from her point of view - from your's it is the culmination of thousands of hours - of endless misses, to have it all come together and seem random to her.
Eyes front Gentlemen. Live. Learn. Lead.