How many times have you been told "You have to have a mission" ... it is put into context as in "women are attracted to Man with a mission" or "your mission can't be about getting laid" or even "the best way to get over a broken relationship is to focus on your mission".
Do you see a pattern above - it's not necessarily wrong, the problem is the context. The only thing I can do is provide some personal experience - I don't know the best approach, or what will work for you - that's where you have to be willing to test, fail, re-calibrate, test (over and over again, until you have it set for your life).
So here it is - from a recent experience (after my divorce, but really the patter has been repeated several times in my life) ...
1. I start feeling great (not just good) about myself - I'm on track in several areas of my life and have the confidence to slay dragons and storm castles.
2. While on this confidence high, all sorts of things are moving in the right direction - money is flowing, friends are plentiful, women are interested, exercising - you are in the flow.
3. These flows have lasted for years or months - it's not a "short term" manic thing, it is just the way it works when you are on track, and have a really good idea of "what you want" in life.
4. Then it happens, maybe it's the first woman you meet, or the 100th - doesn't matter, this one is different, special, she is in your groove - and she "fits". Everything about her fits. There is nothing more wonderful than being on top of the world, and finding this woman.
5. Because she fits, you really can't get enough of her. She may live next door, or hundreds of miles away, doesn't matter - you want to as much time with her as possible.
6. Now, you've read the 'sphere stuff, you believe it - so the relationship begins within your FRAME - you're tight, you're decisive, you're are literally "the MAN" for you and for her.
7. Somewhere along the way - once again, it may be months or years - you start to spend less time doing what you want, and more time doing what she wants. Doesn't matter what it is, these are very small, incremental side steps - you can hardly perceive you are doing them.
8. You have already committed to her - maybe you've told her, maybe you haven't but you know you have - and for Men, that is a solid bond (that women will never give you or believe that you have given them) - and you take a few more side steps.
9. Something goes wrong - it could be anything, large or small - all of sudden that one thing, get blown out of proportion. She gets emotional, you get emotion (which is always a bad thing) - and it kicks you in the stomach (and head) and literally, you find it hard to think (so a few more side steps are taken to get things back on track).
10. I have no idea when it happens, but all of sudden - you are not the Man she fell in love with (which you aren't), and she just can't take it anymore. Now, you are devastated. What the hell just happened - an hour of go, you were having sex and she was talking about how much she loved you right after - now you're breaking up and she never wants to see you again. And what the hell does that mean "You're not the Man I fell in love with?".
Maybe it goes that way, maybe it's slightly different. But I will tell you exactly what happened. All those side steps you took - every single one - add up. When you meet, you were focused and on top of the world, knew exactly what you wanted and were going for it. Balls to the Wall! You met her and although you were still actively pursuing your "mission" - all of sudden, she became important (you fit so well together, and she is absolutely gorgeous, and the sex!!!).
These side steps are natural - but they will also kill the relationship, drag you down, and make you into something that is NOT what made you attractive in the beginning. The only thing you can do is stay AWARE of these side steps - make them consciously if you want, but never just allow them to happen with ACTIVE thought on your part. That being said, she may still leave you - but at least if it happens, you will be able to move on much quicker (possibly immediately) and with much less "WHY ME?" pity thoughts.
Awareness is key in your life - women are not bad or evil, they just know how to naturally work a Man. It's not purely manipulation - I truly believe, most women don't fake the "in love" feeling, just to keep Men interested. The problem is, they believe the Disney Fairly Tale and that the "in love" feeling lasts forever (instead of understanding it's just a chemical reaction, that has a short timeframe).
So stay aware of the process. Stay more true to yourself than true to her. And keep those goals, dreams, missions alive inside you.
Eyes Front Gentlemen. Live. Learn. Lead.