Thursday, April 16, 2015

What happens when you forget?

Are you bound to repeat your past mistakes and sins?  Do you go back immediately, or does it take time, so little effort to do it?

I can tell you, there is no effort at all - nothing is required of you.  All you have to do is close your eyes and go to sleep.  And allow this wonderful dream world to envelope you, lull you into a state of contentment.

That comfortable bliss of forgetting how the world actually works.  Because you have decided that maybe all those Men out there are full of shit, maybe they really aren't as smart as they think they are.  Possibly, you're just tired of seeing nothing by grey and you want all the colors.  You're sick of it, and all you want to do is go back to not knowing.

So you sleep.  You Dream.  You float away.

The problem is, it doesn't last.  You wake up.  The sweet dream fades and you slammed face first back into the reality.  You're confused, because you're still sleepy, but the reality is right there.  There is no denying it.  Everything is cloaked in a fog, sounds are muffled, the colors fade.

Waking up is tough.  Everytime you do it.  The first time and the hundredth time.  It never gets easier.  Because in reality, we don't want THIS reality.  We want the other one.  We don't want the one that says "you do the work, I get the rewards"; we don't want the one that says "you will never be loved like you want to be loved"; we don't want the one that is predicated by a constant struggle - that only through that chaos, will you be loved, will you be wanted.  Only through tension does the desire burn bright.

We don't want the world.  We want the one that says ... Kill the mastadon, bring it home, feed your family, relax in the bright light of success.  That one doesn't exist, if it ever did.

We are the warrior poets, the romantics, the hero of fight - if only the one where we get up at dawn, put on our work boots, go to work, sweat, come home and get ready to do it again.  We are keepers of the flame - even if our women don't care - we still work on it, we still fight for it, we still struggle.  And when it doesn't work, we move off, away from everyone, and cry alone.

I didn't want the struggle anymore - and I forgot.  But the struggle wouldn't allow me to forget.  It brought it right to me - and pushed my face in it.  I thought I was above it, I wasn't.  I thought I knew, I forgot.  I thought it didn't matter, but it does.

My advice, never forget.  Remain vigilant to the dream.  Remember, it's your Frame, not hers.

Eyes front Gentlemen.  Live, Learn, Lead.

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