Monday, March 10, 2014

What do you want?

Has anyone ever asked you this question and you stumble all over - either because you don't know, you're wondering why they're asking or the answer you give may not be the answer they want?  Or even better, do you ask yourself that question - and really delve into it?

I can honestly say (with exaggeration of course), I was asked that question about million times by my (x)wife.  During the last few years of our marriage, I heard at least one per day.  To this day, I don't know if she was asking if I wanted out of the marriage, or really wanted to know what I wanted.  My thought, is that early in our marriage - I knew exactly what I wanted ... I wanted to be married to her, I wanted kids and to be the best father I could be, and I wanted to own/maintain my own business.  I busted my ass to do all three of those things - and for the most part, keep all the balls perfectly juggled.

Well, you can only juggle for so long, and the balls fell to the floor.  And I never got back to the rhythm I previously had.  Then I got angry at everyone and everything in my life - because it was their fault it was so difficult to get it back.  That anger built into resentment - and well, as the story goes, bad things happened.

But the question is a valid one.  To be asked by someone close to you and that is intimately involved in your life - and to ask yourself.  Also, the answer should always be "there" for you.  No hesitation, no hiccup, no puzzled look on your face - making it a clear Question/Answer situation.  If you can't answer that simple question, then you don't know - you are unsure - or you are just floating in your life.

One of the keys to a Man being happy, is having a mission.  That means knowing yourself and what you want.  No on can answer that question for you.  And if you take a path that isn't yours, there will never be real happiness in your life - and as evidenced by millions of Men around the world, you will seek happiness in "all the wrong places".

Answering the question is not easy.  And I believe you have to answer it everyday - because you mission/goals/dreams will change and evolve over time.  Take time to figure it out.  Once you have the answer for TODAY, then figure out plans to make it happen.  Then get busy doing it.  In the immortal words of Andy Defraine "Get busy living, or get busy dying".

Eyes front Gentlemen.  Live, Learn, Lead.


  1. I've known what I want since November/December 2012

  2. It's a vital question to ask yourself. There are times when I know the answer, and then I revisit it later, and have no clue.

  3. Couldn't agree more, men need to be building something - their future.
    Once you've decided what you want in life you can backtrack in order to determine and take the small achievable steps to reach your destination.


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