Tuesday, March 4, 2014

The first rejection...

There are moments that define our lives, and I believe one of those within a Man's life is the first time he gets rejected by a girl/woman.  The following is recount of my first major rejection at the tinder age of 13.  It shaped how I would approach women for decades, and in many ways, shapes how I interact with those I'm attracted to today.

It was the summer of 1975, my Dad sold telecommunications equipment to telephone companies and in the summer, there was a convention held at a resort - and many of the Men that attended brought their families with them.  We had been going for several years, so it turned out to be one of those things growing up, where you met kids and have a "group" you hung out with during the 4 days.  It was a lot like summer camp for us, swimming, horseback riding, hiking, and just hanging out.

That summer it was somewhat different, because I started noticing girls, and was the typical 13 year old with a perpetual hard-on.  That was the summer I really noticed Amy Barnes - I remember her name even now.  She was one of those "mature" girls for her age and I though she we was completely gorgeous.  Now I had known Amy for a couple years, but never really noticed her before, and she never hung out with us previously.  But that summer, I wanted to hang out with her.

In typical 13 year old fashion, I was like a puppy dog following her around for the first day, then the second day, a couple older guys were hanging out with her, no biggie right, I knew here, they didn't.  Well, they were sitting in a group in these lounge chairs - I sat down close to them, but up against the wall.  She started in on me - about me being ugly, stupid, and why was I even there.  Confused, I just kinda laughed it off - then one of the guys started in on me - you know, starting the whole "get out of here you little son of a bitch" and "leave or we'll kick your ass" that type of thing.

In typical guy fashion (I was small for my age, but had been in enough school yard fights, that didn't scare me) I said some stuff back, and kept looking at Amy with these pleading eyes - they kind that say "why are you doing this" type of thing.  After about 5 or 10 minutes, and a few more get out of here statements, one of the boys gets up, walks over, and kicks me in the side.  It knocked the air out me and I couldn't react at all, except just roll over on the floor.  Typical to form, the three of them ran off laughing, saying how much of a little pussy I was.

I cried, more from the hurt and humiliation than from the pain of being kicked.  How could this girl, that I'd know for a couple years, one that I hung out the day before, all of sudden ALLOW something like that to happen?  It really was more devastating that I realized at the time - I just didn't understand any of it.

Lesson from that ... at any age, girls/women are always looking out for themselves and their own self interest.  Their emotions will always carry the day and you will be nothing more than an accessory in their lives.  Never live in fear of that fact, just understand it and make your choices accordingly.

Eyes front Gentlemen.  Live, Learn, Lead.


  1. Always remember:

    Don't sweat the petty things. Pet the sweaty things.

    *drops mic, dances off stage*

  2. If I was at that age, I'd plot revenge.

    And probably would not be allowed at the next family gathering.


Only blatant spam will be deleted. An open forum creates new ideas.