Saturday, February 8, 2014

What would happen if ...

I have to admit, I enjoy most of what I read out there on the "Mano" blogs.  It has provided me a completely different context to view the world - and one that I personally believe is closer to the truth than the context I had previously.

BUT with all that said, I've come to the conclusion that we focus way too much on things that are outside us - primarily women and sex.  There is a huge book of knowledge out there on the subject.  In fact, if the Manosphere were a library, we would have 1 million books, articles and magazines dedicated to women and sex, and about 1K dedicated to other aspects of "being a man".

Now, I get it.  And when I first found this little corner of the interwebs, I was searching for answers - why had my marriage failed (or more precisely, why did I fail my marriage)?  What happened, why did my wife fall out of love with me?  Why this and why that - but it all centered around someone else.  Those were my questions.  And I stumbled upon a whole book of knowledge that started to explain that - and I soaked it up like a sponge.  I thank every Man that has/had taken the time and effort to put it out there - it has been immensely valuable to me.

That was Phase 1 ... of the round of WHY questions.  Phase 2 were the HOW questions ... first centered around How do I get her back?  Then it went to How do I become more attractive?  Still focused on the outside of "Me".  And yes, there are some great resources to help with that also - and once again, I thank all the Men that put it out there.  

It's taken about 18 months, but I'm starting to enter Phase 3 -- which is bringing all that knowledge and codifying and internalizing it.  What I've come to realize is that it's not about "out there" (or at least not ALL about what's out there) - it's about Me.  I have to make it about me first, start from the center and move out.  Which means, if I want to "improve" myself in some way -- body, money, relationship, dating, sex, business, knowledge, goals, health -- for it to make a real impact and have staying power, it has to be about me.  Because if you make it about "them" - eventually, your motivation will start to wain, your will power will run low or you're just going to wonder what it's all about.  At that point, you're on the path to failure and loss.  Motivation has to be from a very deep place inside you, or you just won't do it.

And that is the Book of Knowledge that I feel is missing.  Oh, it's there, in bits and pieces, or buried within other pieces of knowledge.  In some cases, it's a sort of underlying "principle" -- but really, we can't be subtle about this point.  We have to be just as overt about it as we are about "how to fuck a woman" or "why women love the Alpha" or "Confidence is the key" - because the concept of it "being all about Me" is that important.  If you don't get this piece totally ingrained into "who you are, and what you do" there will always be an internal struggle about "is it all worth it?" - remember ... if you are truly doing it for YOU, there will always be a reason to do it.

Eyes front Gentlemen.  Live, Learn, Lead.


  1. Good post. I'm transitioning from stage 2 to stage 3., myself, I think.

    There's more to life than sex and rock & roll certainly, but I my hormones behoove me to get the sex I can!

    1. Wald...thanks for stopping by, I appreciate it.

      It's important to communicate to our Brothers, that this thing is truly a journey - that our lives don't remain static, but are always moving - either evolving or devolving - life is bigger -- I want to have as much sex as I can -- I really like it. And as much as the sex, I like the connection to that woman I'm with - and there is nothing like the touching soft skin and the those wonderful smells!!

      Life is bigger, and pleasure is only one aspect of it. Just as wonderful as that pleasure is the pain associated with striving for something in your life. The struggle and tension created by pushing yourself further than you thought possible.


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