Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Manvice: never loose the swagger...
Now, I have to admit - my (x)wife would probably say tell you I'm a pussy, that I don't have a backbone, that I wasn't much of Man. And she would have been correct. For the last few years of our marriage, I was the typical Great American Beta Husband - my wife ran the show, I pulled the plow. I was a hell of a plow mule - and everytime she cracked the whip, I just picked up the pace a bit more. The greatest gift she ever gave me (and she doesn't know this) was leaving me - because then it was up to me to make the change.
Now, I will admit, I'm still a huge pussy when it comes to my (x)wife - she still had my number. I still cater to the majority of her whims. She gets a huge pass on the crap she does because she is the mother of my children. She is just as spoiled as I've probably made my kids - it has always been a goal for me personally, to provide the best life possible to my kids - even if their mother and I are no longer together - it just means I pay for the upkeep and maintenance of two homes.
But, I have compartmentalized how that relationship works - and it does not bleed into the life I am now creating for myself. I took my balls out of my pocket a little over a year ago - and I've been letting them grow back - trying to exercise my right to be a Man.
And it's amazing how once you start down that path, you start getting feedback - other Men give you more respect, women notice you. There are smiles and nods from strangers. And if you're lucky, you meet a few woman that are so amazing - mostly in that they are attracted to your swagger, your attitude, your essence - and in most cases, these women are more feminine - because that's what you will attract.
The woman I mentioned also told me that I have a magnetism, that she can't help but be drawn to me - to want to know me, to be close. I remember having that affect (on a limited basis) back in the days before I married - but I didn't understand how to channel it. How to focus it. How to make it work for me. How to have a "I don't give a fuck" attitude without it being a negative thing.
Being a Man is privilege, not to be taken lightly. It can also be done wrong in so many ways. So, my advice is to keep your balls, lead from the front, be the rock (and the anchor), know your mission, get excited about it -- and get the fuck to the gym, lift heavy weights, full body (and don't forget your legs), eat right, sleep. Never be afraid to love. Never be afraid to leave. Never be afraid to be left. And always keep your swagger.
Eyes front Gentlemen. Live, Learn, Lead.