You’re at the bar, talking to a hot girl. It’s going well. You can either:Last night, after a great conversation with some great Men-o-the-Manosphere - I decided to stop by a local watering hole and see what was up (I was at one of my places, the band was good, the place was dead and looked like it needed life support). I walk in, post up at the bar, order my usual (vodka rocks) and scan (I'm working on my body language, trying to be more aware of me and what I project, along with being more aware of my surroundings). There are four women - three a bit younger than me, but too old and one appears to be my target zone, also the cutest of the bunch - and they walk past me going to the dance floor. The younger one, is basically being drug to the dance floor - and she eventually breaks free and starts heading to where she was sitting. As she walks past, I grab her hand and say something like "so all it takes is someone dragging by the hand, and you'll just go?" and I get some standard answer and smile - then she says, "let's dance".
a. Keep talking.
>> b. Ask her for her number. <<
>> c. Start touching her. <<
Here the most aggressive move is touching, and is also clearly the best. Now you’re talking and touching. You can either:
>> a. Keep talking and touching. <<
b. Ask for her number.
c. Kiss her. [never got there]
Again, option c is the most forward. After you kiss, you can either:
a. Keep kissing.
b. Ask for her number.
c. Try to get her to leave with you. [never got there]
Fast forward ... we are off the dance floor, back at my post, she's moved over to my location after I tell her to go get her drink (which was really only about 5 feet further down the bar anyway) and we start chatting. So progress check so far ... made the move, got her attention, we danced, I got her to site by me, we start talking, I've got hands on her shoulders, legs ... so basically lots of touching, lots of taking in ears, etc. Oh, and I should mention, I've already gotten her number, sent her a text and had her reply.
So, this is where I basically fuck up ... obviously, there is lots of attraction, even I can't miss all the signals being thrown. BUT, from up above, I didn't go for the kill - I was "afraid" to scare away the little birdy, to spook the prey. Now, there were times where either I was within an inch of her ear, check, nose and vice verse. She was leaning into me - even when she was turned to talk to her friend (with her back to me), and she laughed a few times, doing the whole lean back thing, she was leaning into me for support. So, yea, basically I had her in my sights - lined up - but didn't take the shot.
So, I failed in the most basic of Game Theory - BE BOLD, ALWAYS ADVANCE, GO FOR THE 'NO' - I never got a No, she didn't stop any advance I made. One of these days, I'm going to learn my lesson - this is #2 on the NOT GOING FOR IT hit list, in just the last week. I have no idea if I could have pulled her, taken her to my place and had sex - because I stopped myself. I had her by myself, focused on me for about an hour - if she wasn't all tingly by then, she never would be.
I'll create a post how I really lost my advantage on this - but it's not really important - because that part of the story would never have happened if I had not stopped myself early.
Eyes front Gentlemen. Live, Learn, Lead.
[note: if you've never seen the original 60's TV series Get Smart with Don Adams you need to check it - that's where the quote comes from]