Saturday, January 18, 2014

BETAmoves ... not getting the number

The other night, I was on a date (finally with this chicka I talked to in line at Walgreens - took for ever - but it finally happened).  The first of my major BETAmoves was spending too much money, I'm way too old school for my own good - and when I go out, I like to treat myself, they just get the side benefit of that - but it is something I want to figure out.  How to do within my own style, yet spend less money.

Beyond that, the date went very well.  I was touching, she was touching, we talked, laughed and basically had a good time.  Before I get into what I did wrong, let's talk about one of the ALPHAmoves I did right ... they sat us in a booth, and I sat with her on the same side and told her something like "hey let's make everyone else in here feel uncomfortable" - and we basically hung on each other the whole time.

My BETAmove was not with my date, it was a little different and was really trying to figure out how to make an advance on another woman who had just walked in with her two friends.  Here it is...
1) My date has to go to the restroom.  I get up to let her out and basically stand up right in front of these three ladies.  There is a blond that is dressed to the Nines -- the whole thing going on (oh, did I mention, this was a Tuesday night) - tights, see through blouse, CFM stilettos, makeup, hair - she really looked good.
2) And I give her a slight smile, nod and a HI.  She smiles back with a HI.  I sit back down in the booth and wait for my date to come back.  Date and dinner proceed - like I said, lots of touching.
3) About 20 minutes later, we are getting ready to leave, I stand up again, and am about 3-5 feet from the blonde, she is looking directly at me, drink in her hand and smiles again (beaming type) and says HI again.  I smile back and then grab the hand of my date and we walk out.

Now, the BETAmove was not figuring out a way to get a phone number from this woman, or telling her that I'd be back in about an hour, or preferably both.  I'm not the most observant Man in the world, and miss lots of signals from women, but really, it was not hard to see the interest she was throwing my way.  I have no idea what I could have done, but I know the pure ALPHAmove would have been to talk to her and get her number during the few minutes of opportunity when I was alone, even if my date would have come back.  In the BETA world, that would be a dick move, full of disrespect for your date - but in the world of survival of the fittest, that's what you do and say fuck the consequences - because you may never see this particular woman again, or she may not be in the mood next time, or a million other things.

So, once again, be the ALPHA and figure it out.  Be a dick if you need to be.  Take the risk - I didn't - learn from me.

Eyes front Gentlemen.  Live, Learn, Lead.

1 comment:

  1. A missed opportunity for sure - but it could have just as easily backfired - if you messed up and your date saw - a bird in hand is worth two in the bush sort of thing.

    I'd get away from the Alpha and Beta dichotomy here. If you wanted her number, then go for it next time. If you didn't care, don't worry that you didn't get it.



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