Thursday, December 19, 2013

You're an asshole...and other compliments

As few as a few months ago, I would have been horrified if my (x)wife, daughter, mom, sister, or basically any other female called me any of the following names (even though most would frame it as you're being such a...):

  • Asshole
  • Dick (dick head)
  • Prick
  • Patriarchal
  • Misogynist
  • Over bearing
  • Bully (or abusive, threatening, mean)
  • Unreasonable
  • etc and so on

I would have wondered what I did, what I said, how I was being that "word" to them - when probably I was just stating my position or maybe a thought I had.  As I said, I would be horrified and reacted with something like "I'm not like that..." type of response.

And believe me, my (x)wife called me lots of names - and of course she was good at veiling the name with the "you're acting like" or "you're being such a..." - because there is nothing as non-womanly as making a full frontal attack, it is all end arounds and disguised (word) plays.  But make no mistake, when it happened, when the words where thrown out there, it was obvious what she wanted - she wanted to stop me cold in my tracks, to make me wonder, to make sure I understand I had crossed some line.  And now I was being a bully, using my strength, being a "man" and she was mad as hell.

I have a renewed opinion of those words today.  They are not words that hurt, they are words that compliment - they help to re-enforce I am on the right path.  If not holding a door open gets me a stare for some woman, I laugh now.  If I say something and there is look of surprise on a woman's face, I have taken one step further away from all the conditioning of who I am as a Man.

As the old bull said to the young bull, after the young bull said excitedly....Let's run down there and fuck one...he replied, No, let's walk down there and fuck 'em all.

Eyes front gentlemen.  Live, Learn, Lead.

1 comment:

  1. One of my ex-girlfriends would call me asshole as a term of endearment.

    I loved it, and I miss it still.



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