Saturday, November 23, 2013

The Beta Husband - Part 3

I've read a couple posts recently concerning why Men devolve into beta attitudes within their LTR or marriage.  The one that made the most sense to me was over at The Black Dragon blog, was particularly good - the topic being "Woman are more comfortable being uncomfortable" than Men.  As I read it, I found myself agreeing and bobbing my head up and down.

The premise being, woman live a life of being uncomfortable - from menstruation, to child birth, to peer pressure, to self image.  At a very early age, they are conditioned to be uncomfortable - Men on the other hand, aren't.  We are too busy being competitive, playing sport (or video games), talking shit to each other, trying to impress the "girl" and a ton of other stuff - none of which makes us necessarily uncomfortable.

And, when we get married - we expect our lives to go along those same lines - but that's Man logic.  And our wives or SOs know this instinctively.  They can live in the world of uncomfortable - we want things to be normal - and to get back to normal, we say "yes" to their demands (or I'm sorry, or buy gifts, or a dozen other things to get things back to a smooth floating life).

 Now, if our lives (those of Men) are in chaos, we put all our mental powers, decision making and logic into eliminating that chaos.  Making decisions for our families that may not be in our own best interests, which may not be in sync with our "mission" - we do this, because chaos is not "our" state - but it is the state woman can survive in, and some thrive in.

So, the solution?  If there is one, it is having and employing dread - that you don't really need them (and I mean NEED them to live your life), that you want them in your life, but it is not a requirement for your live a fulfilling life. I don't know that I could do anything like that and in some cases, you may actually marry a woman that believes in the partnership of marriage - but in case that's not the case, dread is really the only defense (or possibly offense) to retain the balance of the marriage.

Being married is a tough gig.  Husbands in many respects live a "fat and happy" life, not knowing how close they are to loosing their wives, their families, what they hold dear in their hearts.

Eyes front Gentlemen.  Live, Learn, Lead.

1 comment:

  1. Dread game is tough to learn, but it seems like all the cool kids are talking about it.



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