No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Glover - it opened my eyes a little and give me some things to think about. I bought into some of the concepts, but not all, in his book. What I found though, was the forum - and there I found other Men going through some of the same crap I was going through (separated, heading towards divorce, kids, confused, angry, just wanting to get my life back). That forum was very important - and lead me to a couple other books.
The next book I read was "Married Man's Sex Life Primer" by Athol Kay. It was the second pole in the tent. It cleared up some things in my mind and really made sense to me. I could look at some of the "things" I thought about marriage, sex, a wife, a family, etc. - and how it was really not true - and where I went totally off the rails within my marriage (and generally as a Man/husband/leader of my family). My eyes were starting to see a bit clearer - also, the concept of the Red Pill was introduced.
From the NMMNG forum, it was also suggested to read "The Way of the Superior Man" by David Dieda, now the other pole was stood up in the tent. I could really see what was going on. It was an interesting read, and may not be for everyone - but it also made sense to me.
Now - with those three books - I had a better of understanding of me (through NMMNG and the psychology of it all); I had a better understanding of the dynamics of my relationship with my wife (through MMSL and a basic understanding of male/female interaction); and finally, I had a better understanding of why it was all happening (through WOTSM and the idea of energy and spirituality within men and women).
So, with those three - one focused on my mind, one focused on my relationship, and one focused on my spirit - it started coming together. And it was all a bit overwhelming - that I could have been so naive and yet, be able to see how it all fit together - and even how I had "known" some of this stuff, but it wasn't embedded into my life or my actions on a constant basis. It's sorta like playing golf, and having 4 or 5 holes where you just flow, everything works - and then it all goes away, and you play like you normally do. Once I read these books, I understood how there were snippets of my life - where I flowed, I lived like a Man. Then, I would slip back into what ever programming/autoresponse life style was "normal" and expected.
So, what does this have to do with Thanksgiving? Almost everything. This is the first one after my divorce. Not saying that in a sad way - it's just reality. My kids are with my ex-wife, her family and the new dude in her life. She is cooking dinner for them and I'm not part of it. For almost two decades we were part of each other's Thanksgiving - good years, bad years, getting along, or mad as hell at each other - we spent them together.
I'd be hard pressed to tell you that I'm happy about that situation - about not having my family (her included) around me today. It basically sucks - but it's not devastating, I'm not a blubbering mess - blaming the world for what happened. The Red Pill helps. It takes the edge off it all. I understand the reasons why we are not married (or together) - and there is no blame, hurt or anger. It just is. I've stated this before, and it's still true, I love her and probably always will. But that doesn't mean I want her back - I was not the best man I could be when I was with her - and it was my fault not hers.
I want to state something right now - agree or disagree - but in my mind it's so true. Being a full blown American Beta Husband is unfair to everyone around you. Your wife, your kids, your job/career, your extended family, your community, and mostly to yourself. You are NOT the best man you can be, if you are running full Beta - you are the guy that can't say no, that isn't willing to tell his wife "there's the door and it's not locked", you're not keeping yourself in shape (mentally and physically), you're not creating sexual tension in your relationship, you take your dick off at the door and hang it on a hook, you've forgotten that you are leader and you have a mission. And you're doing all this to "get along" and not "rock the boat" - because you believe in some society-forced philosophy about equality of sexes, that marriage is a "true" partnership and that for some reason, we are above our biology and evolution - that We Are Modern Men, Living In A Modern World.
That's HORSESHIT....and you know it is, you feel it deep down inside your gut. You are being unfair to everyone in your life - you are being less than you can be - you will know something is wrong, and probably misdirect your anger in the wrong places - creating more problems in your life.
My advice - read, learn and the put it into practice. I will tell you, your life will be better - although it may not be easier - always looking for better, not easier. And the fact that it's not easier, will push the Man inside you - we love challenge, we love to work, we love to push, we love when things need fixing.
So, today, I give thanks for my new knowledge. My renewed vigor for life. My discovery of this place and Men helping other Men. Happy Thanksgiving, Gentlemen.
Eyes front Gentlemen. Live, Learn, Lead.