Friday, November 29, 2013

Falling back...

It's human nature to learn something new, try some things around that new thing, have some success - then all of sudden you notice you're going back to old patterns.  We all have done the "new year's resolution" thing, putting our list together, being motivated to "make a change", then by the first of February, you're sitting on our couch eating a bag of chips, watching some dumb-ass show and the work out cloths are still in a pile on your floor from the last time you put them on (two weeks ago).

This whole Red Pill stuff is exactly like that, too.  We read something about "picking up girls" or "making your mission a reality" and we like it.  We might even try it for a while, but old habits die hard and fairly soon, we are right back where we were.

No worries, all it not lost, understanding your nature is really the first step to overcoming it.  One of the things I learned (and have re-learned several times) is that failure isn't the problem, giving up is the problem.  You can overcome failures, in fact, if you are really trying to change something, you will fail over and over again.  Some of those will be small, inconsequential failures, but some will be monumental FAILS.

Ultimately, a failure is nothing more than a learning experience - it gives you the opportunity to see something that doesn't work, so you can try it in a different way.  I don't have a formula for success, there's a bunch of books - some good, some bad - that I've read over the years.  Ultimately, we as Men need to quit being lazy, quit avoiding challenges, quit throwing our arms up in disgust and realize that all you need to do is adjust, try something a little different.

Here's an personal example...

I've decided I need to start dating - I didn't do that during my separation (because to me, it went against my personal code of right and wrong) - the problem is...I've been out of the dating game for over 18 years.  So, been reading various blogs about how to approach, how to set the frame, how to escalate, etc.  So, I'm getting pretty good at getting numbers, had a couple "dates" (mostly meet-n-greets), worked a few women in bars - but I have yet to close any deals.

Now, I could give up.  But really, all I'm doing right now is practicing - and I have yet to have an epic FAIL - which would probably make a really good story (and that's one of the things we have to be good at, telling stories).  For me, it's about keep trying - don't worry about the failures.  Be aware of what you're doing (or not doing) and then the next time, do it differently.  I'm not closing, because I'm still someone that's afraid to push the sexual limits - to put myself out there as a sex god - but I'll push through that.

The other day, I had a woman text me a nude photo (very explicit, up close and personal type, this is not the first time, but it was the first time for a woman I had just met) - I thought "OK, this one I can close" - well I didn't because I fell back to old patterns of being a nice guy.  She asked me to help her out and my first thought was "SAY NO" be that guy - instead, I helped.  So, now I know.  I had her on the hook, but never set it.

I'm just saying - keep going.  Try new things.  Stop giving up because you fail a few times.  We live in interesting times, and we need all the Men we can get to live their lives as Men.  To be examples to all the Boys out there.  We can do it, we change change the programming, but it will take effort and the willingness to fail.

Eyes front Gentlemen.  Live, Learn, Lead.

1 comment:

  1. One of the most common words for falling back to old habits is "beta backsliding".

    Wald

    ReplyDelete

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