Saturday, September 28, 2013

A thought on being a Dad...

Louis CK was recently on Conan (which I don't watch, or any of the other talk shows), but in his interview, he made the following statement (in reference to mobile phones for his kids)...and I'm going to have to paraphrase, because I can't find where I wrote it down...

"I'm not here to make my kids happy.  I'm here to turn them into the people they're going be."

Now think about that for a second, because if you have kids, it will resonate with you.  Parents are not there to give their children everything they want, to cave in when they whine, to just wait around until they request something - and then either give it to them or stress that you can't.

I admit, I have had times in my life where it hurt when I couldn't do or buy my kids that "one" thing they wanted.  Because deep down, we want our kids to have everything those things.  But in reality, they're kids, if they don't get one thing, there will be something in about five minutes that they "just have to have".

My point here is two fold,

(1) be a parent, be a dad.  Use the word NO, more than you use the word yes.  As I look back at they years with my kids, that word could have been employed more.  Never be afraid to be the grown up and make the tough decisions.

(2) Dads are not moms, as different as men and women are in relationships, those differences carry through to parenting.  I gave my kids lots of hugs and loved when they were small and sat in my lap.  I've put a few bandages on open wounds, wiped a few tears - but that's not my job - my job is to be the tallest man in the room, to be the rock.  I am the person, that will guide, suggest, even demand certain actions.  If needed, that means creating tears, not wiping them away.

As Louis CK says, we're not here to make them happy, we're here to make them into the people the will be for the rest of their lives - and that's not an easy job these days.

Stay strong Brothers.  Live, Learn, Lead.

1 comment:

  1. Too many people these days try to be friends with their kids.

    Not that it is impossible - just there's a wrong way and a right way. Most people don't get it right.



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